TONGE, Samuel : landlord of the Church Hotel, Kearsley. Letter
in Bolton Evening News, 1st April 1873, regarding him not being dead.
Found Dead in a Gutter - On Saturday an inquest was held upon the body of Samuel Tonge, of the Church Hotel, Kearsley, who was found dead in a pit near the Stoneclough Railway Station. As it appeared that the deceased was subject to fits, a verdict of 'Accidentally Suffocated' was returned.
As I am the identical Samuel Tonge (deceased, as per report), landlord of the Church Hotel, Kearsley, will you do me the favour through the columns of your paper to present my compliments to my numerous friends and the public generally, with the assurance, I rejoice to say, that I am still in the land of the living, and in as robust and satisfactory a condition of health, as most people approaching the allotted boundary of life are permitted to enjoy. It is 'appointed for all mankind once to die', but that out vitalitics should be thus unceremoniously snuffed out, and that too in a 'gutter', by the dexterous pen of a newspaper paragraphist is too bad, and calls for some 'small voice' as this between the living and the dead.
Yours respectfully, Samuel Tonge
P.S.- I have never
had a fit in my life.